Barefaced and Beautiful

Yesterday kicked off National Eating Disorder Awareness week.

Today's theme is "Barefaced and Beautiful".

Did you go without makeup today? How did it make you feel? If you didn't, why not?

I went without makeup today. Makeup actually isn't that big of a thing for me; I leave the house all the time without it. It is a little weirder at work. I think I associate looking put together (including made up) with professionalism. I did find myself making sure my eyebrows were well-groomed and my hair looked nice. It's interesting how caught up we can be in physical appearance and not even realize it. I would love to be more carefree about my appearance and I think this was a good challenge to make me stop and think.

"Healthy"

(trigger alert)

I hate this word.

I understand it can mean a lot of different things. Like, "Your daughter's checkup was fantastic; she is very healthy!" But you know what I am talking about.

Specifically, the phrase "healthy eating".

It just makes me angry. The H word is imposed onto so many things and banned from so many others. For example, lettuce is "healthy". However, cookies are "not healthy". It can even get nitpicky. Chocolate is one of those on-the-fence foods and dark chocolate is considered "healthier". Really??

It is also insidious when it comes to diet talk. How many times have you heard, "Oh, I'm not on a diet. I am just trying to eat healthier." My mom says this ALL the time. It drives me batty because all she is really doing is restricting. She never eats dessert and barely snacks and eats pretty much the same exact thing every day.

I think people don't realize how dangerous this can be. Last night, I was watching one of my favorite shows, Top Chef. The contestants were charged with making some picnic-type foods "healthier". One contestant was criticized for making a homemade roll and a judge said, "Bread is just empty calories". I was so angry I had to turn off the show.

What is your opinion on this word? Will you be more vigilant about how you use it or how you hear it used in daily life?

The Gifts We Give.

Please see this very powerful post by Blog con Queson

http://thequeso.com/the-gifts-we-give/

I was totally shocked by the interaction she witnessed but really applaud her brave actions! A reminder of how early body image distorton can start and also, how far kindness can go.

Morality of food.

(trigger alert)

I had this internal conversation with myself yesterday:
"I really should give up soda. It would be an easy way to cut calories and it's really not good for me. I should just stick to tea. Huh. If I drink coffee with cream and sugar, isn't that the same amount of calories as a soda, or maybe more? But coffee has "health benefits". Tea and coffee are always seen as "good for you" and soda is bad..but I like soda, dammit! What's so bad about it?"

I then asked my husband to "indulge my neuroses" and asked him why food is so morally weighted. He responded thusly (keep in mind there is some humor meant):
"You've never been to Europe, right? In America, if I'm at a bar and there is last call and I think about having one more drink, someone will say, 'Are you sure you should have another one?' When I was in Estonia and this happened, my friends would say, 'Well, why shouldn't you have another?' The Europeans shipped all the Puritans over here and we are stuck with those leftover values. If it feels good, it must be bad for you. Especially for women, you shouldn't indulge or enjoy things too much, whether food, alcohol, or sex. It's unseemly. But, in my opinion, food is food and life is short."

Huh.

I had never thought about how much cultural values really affect my daily behavior (I mean, really, who thinks about sociology on a daily basis?) But it really is true. Think about people who live life on a large scale; they enjoy their food, they may be a tad raucous/tacky, they enjoy a drink and may even come across as very sexual beings. These kinds of people make us uncomfortable. Growing up, I learned not to be "too much", whether too loud, sexy, or, of course, fat. What's funny is that I am at the heaviest weight of my life and my husband loves my body. He wants me to be sexy and enjoy life and food and not worry so much. I think it can be really difficult to break through these ingrained ideas, especially if their are propagated by family, friends, or the media in general.

So, I try to continue being as intuitive as possible and be caring for my body by honoring my cravings, hungers, or hankerings and not feel one bit of guilt. It almost feels like giving myself a hug.

Stopping Diet and Fat Talk.

You know what I'm talking about, especially you ladies out there.

"Oh goodness, I've gained so much weight! I need to go on a diet!"
"Have you tried [insert diet here]?"
"I look terrible! I need to lose some weight!"

Sigh.

These conversations are the bane of my existence. They are extremely anti-IE and anti-ED recovery. I have been trying to find some cryptonite for this negative self-talk.

"You do not need to lose any weight."
"Your body just [had a baby/had surgery/other important thing]. That is amazing and you should appreciate what your body can do for you."
"I am very anti-diet."
"You don't need to diet."

I haven't gone so far as to say, "Diets don't work." (even though it's true) This one is hard because usually these conversations occur in a group and pretty much everyone else is supporting or echoing the conversation. It becomes intimidating to be so against the grain in that respect and I am afraid of upsetting or offending anyone.

Hopefully as I get farther along in my own recovery, I can become more assertive with these ideas.

How do you handle fat and diet talk?

Workout videos: motivating or offensive?

As I've mentioned before, I do workout videos fairly regularly. I get them from my cable ondemand and free is always good! Unfortunately, I have to take what I can get and they usually consist of whatever is trendy at the moment by the popular workout gurus. For example, I did one this morning by Denise Austin.

Don't get me wrong, I like Denise. She can be a little annoying with her energy level but I typically enjoy her workouts. However, this morning's video really struck me. Here are a few of things she said:

"No more jiggle when you wave goodbye!"
"This will help that bra overhang!"
"You'll look great from behind!"
"You'll look good in a few weeks!"

I'll stop there. Only once in the entire workout did she mention anything about health or strength, and it was tagged on to the end of a statement about appearance. Maybe it's just me being more sensitive but I was really disappointed that there wasn't more focus on health and strength during what I thought was a pretty good workout routine. Denise is not in the minority, either. Most of the workouts focus on improving appearance versus health.

I understand that this is the reason why a lot of people exercise, but I would love to see the instructors focus more on how their routine is improving my strength and health versus how much better my arm jiggle will look. Leslie Sansone seems to be one of the few that really focuses on health through exercise. I am sure there are others that I am not aware of but will be keeping an eye out!