Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Deprivation

Whenever I choose not to eat something sweet (as in, I really am not hungry and not terribly interested but it's still available), I have this intense feeling of deprivation. Like I am keeping myself from something wonderful and I have this strong feeling of sadness and, oddly, loneliness.

I am not sure if this is leftover from dieting days and purposefully restricting, or related to something more emotional and feelings of emotional neediness being filled by food. Probably a little of both.

I haven't quite mastered talking myself down from these feelings. I need to explore them more and find their root. I'm scared to pull at it but I know it needs to be examined.

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