Friday, October 28, 2011

Do I want it?

One of my flaws is that I do things too quickly.

At work, this does make me very efficient (and surprisingly without errors) but in my personal life, it's not such a good thing. I tend to get uppity very quickly and "ramp up" verbally and mentally. It gets to the point that it almost feels like an out-of-body experience.

With eating, this is obviously not a good thing. Part of intuitive eating and mindfulness is taking your time. I want to try and take more time, especially with my food choices. I am going to try and ask myself the following questions, especially when I'm feeling ramped up:

Do I really want this?
Am I really going to enjoy it?
How will I feel afterwards?

This may seem a little tedious. I do think the first question is really the most important. Mindless eating can be very dangerous, especially regarding aftereffects. By taking just a moment to evaluate what I am really wanting, I hope to focus my attention more on my food choices and make sure I am really digesting my food, physically and mentally.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011


Lately, I have been hearing a very quiet voice in my head.

No, you do not need to call the doctor. :)

It's very quiet but it is commenting on my food choice and my body's reaction to them.

I don't always listen to it, particularly when I'm stressed and wanting to emotionally eat. But when I do listen, I feel more satisfied and like I ate what my body needed, even if it seems like an abnormal choice.

For example, I really crave protein in the morning. I don't have time to make a whole breakfast so I've just been making a sandwich. But that's lunch food, you say! Yes, but it's what works for me right now.

I have also noticed what doesn't work for me. As I mentioned before, too much salt triggers a sugary craving, and vice versa. Soda tends to make me sleepier, despite how much I enjoy the taste. :)  These are definitely things I need to keep in moderation.

A work in progress, for sure. I'll be listening closely in the near future!

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

"Last Supper"

There is a thought process called the "Last Supper" mentality. Have you heard of it?

Basically, it's the idea, typically before starting a diet, that you'll eat what you want because, tomorrow, you'll start eating "better/healthier/less". You then may overeat to compensate for what you won't get or have a sense of scarcity about what you may or may not be able to have.

I feel like I do this fairly regularly, especially since I tend towards restriction in my eating habits. Whenever I eat something "bad", I mentally plan to restrict the next day.

At this point, I am almost forcing myself to eat more "bad" foods in the hopes of breaking this thought process, to remind myself that, look, it's still there and I can have more! I think so many years of restricting are causing this process to take a little while but, hey, I'm enjoying my eating in the meantime!

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Journal Entry

I think it's time for another Intuitive Eating Journal entry!

SO tired. The tiny one kept me up most of the night with tummy troubles. I think I managed about 5 hrs. NEED COFFEE. I need gas anyway so I run in for a cup since gas stations always have good coffee. I like mine light, tried the vanilla creamer, not bad. As usual, I'll nurse this throughout the day, or at least morning.
I also suddenly became ravenous and craving protein. I had a carb-heavy dinner so I think that may be why. I knew I only had yogurt in my bag for breakfast so I decide to grab an egg and cheese biscuit on the way to work. I devoured it on my commute. Nom nom nom.

Starting to get hungry. On a conference call at work but start mentally planning my lunch. I have a bratwurst and hot dog bun as my "entree", will eat that and then see what else I want once call is over, hopefully any minute!

Finished 3/4 of my bratwurst and then decided I was done with it so threw away the rest. Feeling full for the moment, may have a snack in a short while.

Feeling hungry but also have a bit of a tummyache. I think it was from the coffee, ugh. I like it but it and the creamer don't always like me. Bleh. Will sip on a soda and eat a cheese stick for now since I'm wanting something a little salty.

Feeling better but still a little hungry. Tried a Gala apple. Ate a few bites, found it mealy and just not tasty. I have discovered I am fairly picky about apples. Oh well. I feel like I have wasted a lot of food today but I guess that's better than eating food I don't enjoy.

Still hungry (a cheese stick and few bites of apple do not a snack make, especially since I had a small lunch). Still wanting salty, popcorn it is! A perfect soda accompaniment.

Ate about 2/3 of bag, don't want anymore popcorn but craving something sweet. I notice this when I eat popcorn, maybe it's too salty? I eat a snack-sized bag of dried cranberries. I feel a little guilty because I feel like this is more of a sweet tooth thing than a hunger thing but I do really enjoy them. Maybe I will stay away from popcorn for a while. I finish about 2/3 of my soda and feel satisfied for several hours.

HUNGRY. Our dinners get delayed nowadays due to the baby. We decided on just a quick frozen pizza. I was craving some veggies so I also made some frozen broccoli and added some salsa. I had 2 pieces of pizza and about half the broccoli and felt satisfied. YUM.

Wanting something sweet, as usual. Feeling a little peckish, I decided on a small bowl of chocolate ice cream. The husband actually had some Ben and Jerry's that I sample and decided it is SO much better. I think it may be important, particularly with sweets, to choose quality over quantity and really savor the experience.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Emotional vs. Intuitive Eating

I have an enormous sweet tooth.

I could, pretty much, eat sweets any time, day or night. I crave them during any emotional state: happy, sad, tired, hormonal. I find myself overeating them when I'm stressed.

What is the difference between Emotional Eating (EE) and Intuitive Eating (IE)?

Sometimes, I am not sure. IE doesn't dismiss EE but rather allows it and requests that you look at your actions objectively, without judgement. I hate the fact that I emotionally eat and can't seem to break the pattern. I find a large amount of comfort in food and it is my go-to stress reliever. Unfortunately, this can become an icky cycle of overeating, shame, guilt, restriction, and...begin again.

I think, maybe, the point of IE is to remove the shame, guilt, and restriction to help break the emotional cycle. If you fully allow yourself to eat whatever, whenever, in a loving way, the need for EE diminishes. I have always found that when I don't pay close attention to (I mean scrutinizing) what I eat/don't eat, my EE and general overeating is lessened. Which, I guess is the point.

Thursday, October 6, 2011


Well, I guess that's how it goes. Ironic since my last post was a step forward. One step forward, one step back sometimes.

Here's what happened: I had a "fat" day. I have not been able to exercise very consistently in the last week or so because my dear child keeps changing her sleep schedule. Two nights ago, she thought she'd have a party from 1-4am! When I don't exercise, a little switch in my head gets flipped and I start obsessing about my food intake and worrying I must be gaining weight. Irrational, I know. I also gave birth only four months ago! *headdesk*

I started demonizing my favorite foods--sweets. I decided I must CUT IT OUT. Smart, I know. I even deleted this blog, thinking that IE must be for weenies and I needed to toughen up and cut out the foods I love the most. Yes, I can be a tad impulsive. :)

This morning, I had a realization about how much I abuse my body. I insult it, dislike it, restrict its food intake and try to control its every move. I diminish its needs by thinking I am too self-absorbed in even worrying about it. I cause myself so much undue stress worrying about gaining weight. I put that in italics to emphasis its dramatic nature and how ridiculous it must really be.

So, I am currently enjoying a candy bar because my body was craving it, despite my trying to please it with other, "healthier" options. And I will enjoy every last bit of it. My new goal is to enjoy my life, my body, my food, and my exercise instead of abusing, diminishing, and demeaning it.