Soda.

Soda and I have a long and mildly weird relationship.

Okay, slight tangent for a moment.

Is it weird that I refer to having "relationships" with food items? I feel like it is. I think it may have to do with my significant history of emotional attachment to food. I am going to try and think of another word to help lessen the emotionality but I think, to a degree, it works in the context I am trying to convey.

Back to our regularly scheduled programming!

I grew up drinking soda. It always always diet (usually Diet Coke) because that's what my mom kept in the house. I have never seen her drink a regular soda in my entire life. My dad drank regular on occasion but it was nothing I saw often. I grew up believing that regular soda was a waste of calories and was terrified of it.

In the last few years, I developed somewhat of an intolerance to artificial sweeteners. They upset my stomach and started to exacerbate my hypoglycemia. My husband drinks regular soda and always kept it in the house so I tried it. And really enjoyed it. It also helps tremendously with my hormonal migraines (was actually recommended by my gynecologist!).

However.

I still have this little voice in the back of my head screaming about empty calories and too much sugar. Recently, I even tried to switch back to diet, to pretty bad results (low blood sugar crashes, excessive hunger, for example). I tried to cut it out altogether in an attempt to be "healthier". But it's just one of those things I really enjoy. Keep in mind, I don't usually drink more than 1 soda a day, but I still have this weird reaction like I'm doing something wrong when I drink it and would be thinner if I didn't. My husband tells me, "It's just one soda," but processing that through eating disordered thoughts can be easier said than done sometimes.

I wish I had an easy answer.