Trigger Words

Last night, I was telling the husband about a coworker who I only ever see eat salad at lunch and fruit for snacks. I told him that it made me feel a little self-conscious because I snack all day and eat a heartier lunch. He commented, jokingly, "Well, she doesn't have crappy discipline like you!"

Obviously, I became somewhat upset. He tried to explain himself: "Well, you have good discipline about working out. It sounds like she has ironclad willpower about what she eats, not that that is a good thing."

Fail.

Now, don't get me wrong. My husband understands my disorder very well and is extraordinarily supportive. However, he sometimes says things in a way he doesn't mean.

I had to explain "trigger words" to him. For me, "discipline" and "willpower" are on that list. I highly associate them with restrictive eating and dieting. I always hated them, particularly because I never thought I had any willpower. I explained to him how it made me feel like the other woman, who appears to be highly restrictive, was "better" than me because she had what he referred to as discipline.

The positive part of the conversation was that I got the opportunity to explain intuitive eating to him and how I am trying to practice it more consistently by really listening to my body's needs. He understood and supported the concept and made an interesting comment: "It sounds like it's about not letting the food control you."

Absolutely.