Progress

Last night, I had two interesting realizations regarding my healing process.

1. At night, I sometimes crave fruit for dessert. However, I have a hard time eating it because it triggers diet thoughts in my head, like it's what I'm "supposed" to be eating. A lot of the times, I choose another snack instead but I understand it's a good sign I am having the cravings and working towards honoring them more fully. I know I need to be in a place where I can eat whatever, whenever I want it (including "healthier" foods) and I don't think I'm there yet.
2. I don't eat enough at meals. This goes right along with my restrictive tendencies. I also like to snack a lot and I feel like I hold back at meals in order to be able to snack later. This is not honoring my hunger. I am going to work on making sure to pack larger breakfasts and lunches for work as I struggle more when I have to plan my meals ahead.

It made me feel good to realize these things. I know I am not done but I am making what feels like good, natural progress.