Enjoying Working Out

Exercise, body movement, workouts, whatever you want to call it. I always hated the word "exercise". Probably because it always followed "diet".

I have really been enjoying working out lately. Part of this can be attributed to working out with my dear husband; my last two workout classes have been cancelled. It's a great way to spend time together as a couple and I am really enjoying the workouts. My husband used to be in the military so he knows how to get in a good workout!

After the workout, I felt really good. I even felt I was eating more intuitively instead of being anxious about my food choices. I think this is an important insight and a good way to check in if I do start feeling anxious or insecure (when was my last workout?). Even just a few times a week makes a big difference in my mental health.

What activities make you feel good, physically and mentally?

Intuitive Exercising

I have always hated exercising.

Usually, it's a punishment for overeating or a "discipline" for working towards weight loss. It's never been for the joy of movement and the health of my body.

Since my pregnancy, I have very much been off the exercise wagon. I just physically wasn't able to and have had some back and hip pain since giving birth. I've had to be really careful about what kind of exercise I do and really listen to my body about what movements help and don't hurt.

This is definitely a new place for me. Before I go to the gym, I really think about what exercise sounds the best, almost like thinking about what sounds good to eat. I'll then do those exercises and check in with myself frequently: Does this feel good? Any pain? Am I wearing out? Can I do more?

It feels wonderful to be this mindful during exercise instead of just pushing through and pushing my body harder than it wants to go. Instead of worrying about what muscles are getting toned or what parts of my body may get smaller, I think about where I am getting stronger or how I am getting more endurance. It can be a challenge to focus on these things instead of worrying about whether or not I am "making progress" but I guess I am making a different kind of progress now.

Workout videos: motivating or offensive?

As I've mentioned before, I do workout videos fairly regularly. I get them from my cable ondemand and free is always good! Unfortunately, I have to take what I can get and they usually consist of whatever is trendy at the moment by the popular workout gurus. For example, I did one this morning by Denise Austin.

Don't get me wrong, I like Denise. She can be a little annoying with her energy level but I typically enjoy her workouts. However, this morning's video really struck me. Here are a few of things she said:

"No more jiggle when you wave goodbye!"
"This will help that bra overhang!"
"You'll look great from behind!"
"You'll look good in a few weeks!"

I'll stop there. Only once in the entire workout did she mention anything about health or strength, and it was tagged on to the end of a statement about appearance. Maybe it's just me being more sensitive but I was really disappointed that there wasn't more focus on health and strength during what I thought was a pretty good workout routine. Denise is not in the minority, either. Most of the workouts focus on improving appearance versus health.

I understand that this is the reason why a lot of people exercise, but I would love to see the instructors focus more on how their routine is improving my strength and health versus how much better my arm jiggle will look. Leslie Sansone seems to be one of the few that really focuses on health through exercise. I am sure there are others that I am not aware of but will be keeping an eye out!

Exercise

Like most things, exercise and I have had a love-hate relationship throughout the years.

I was never an athletic kid; I hated sports and refused to play them. My mom always tells the story about how I adamantly refused to play tee-ball at the age of 4. Obviously, sports were not in my blood. I did roller skate and bike ride and play outdoors like most kids, though.

I remember the first time I "exercised" though. A lot of my disordered thoughts and behaviors started around age 11. I remember doing crunches to have a flat stomach. I don't think I really understood why yet but I do remember getting praised by my grandmother for having such a flat stomach. At 11.

As a teenager, exercise became fairly regular for me, mostly running and workout videos. It was primarily part of my dieting regimen or as a compensation for eating. I HATED it. This continued throughout college until it bordered on exercise bulimia in graduate school. Even after I started recovering from my disordered eating, the unhealthy relationship with exercise continued, particularly as compensatory for food.

At this point, I exercise because I have to. Let me explain. I don't particularly enjoy exercise; I would much rather watch tv or sleep in. But I know if I want to keep intrusive ED thoughts at bay, I have to do at least something almost every day. This could be stretches, kickboxing, or strength training but when I don't exercise, ED thoughts start creeping in and I start thinking about dieting and other unhealthy behaviors (yes, in my opinion, dieting is an unhealthy behavior). I don't look at exercising as compensatory anymore, just part of my self-care, as important as brushing my teeth to maintain my health.