Food Valuation, and a rant.

The other day, I caught myself thinking it would be better to eat more fruit before eating a "less healthy" snack. I immediately put away the fruit and pulled out the snack I wanted. It's disappointing to me that I still catch myself valuing food in this manner. I guess it's a good sign I am recognizing it and will be a work in progress.

This next section is kind of a personal rant. I do not intend to hurt anyone's feelings, just my perspective.

There are a lot of food blogs out there. A lot of them focus on "healthy eating". You will also notice that a lot of these blogs are written by folks who self-disclose a history of disordered eating. They also may talk about being vegan, vegetarian, or whatnot. While I have no problem with any of this in theory, if you look closely you will notice a lot of diet talk hidden within the recipes and pretty meal pictures. White sugar gets demonized and oils are eliminated as much as possible. Strenuous workouts are also reported.

I used to enjoy some of these blogs but the more I read them, the more triggering I found them. I think it's really irresponsible to tout "healthy eating" or whatever but then intermix diet or fat talk and calorie counts, etc. I know these blogs aren't set up to be therapeutic or claim to be user-friendly and aren't intended to be negative but it frustrates me when the writers disclose their disordered histories and are still encouraging calorie cutting or food substitutions. It just seems misleading.

End of rant. :)

Enjoying Working Out

Exercise, body movement, workouts, whatever you want to call it. I always hated the word "exercise". Probably because it always followed "diet".

I have really been enjoying working out lately. Part of this can be attributed to working out with my dear husband; my last two workout classes have been cancelled. It's a great way to spend time together as a couple and I am really enjoying the workouts. My husband used to be in the military so he knows how to get in a good workout!

After the workout, I felt really good. I even felt I was eating more intuitively instead of being anxious about my food choices. I think this is an important insight and a good way to check in if I do start feeling anxious or insecure (when was my last workout?). Even just a few times a week makes a big difference in my mental health.

What activities make you feel good, physically and mentally?

Self disclosure

As you know, my trainer recently gave me a meal plan to follow. I have, uh, not been following it. I try to use it as a guideline but often I just don't pay attention to it because I just can't. I asked him recently about how to increase my endurance and, in addition to some exercise recommendations, he reiterated the importance of nutrition and the meal plan.

Hm.

I decided to tell him about my history. I decided this made sense because I don't want him to think I am trying to be noncompliant or lazy and I think it's important considering the continued discussions about my eating habits. I am hoping he will be understanding or have some alternate recommendations (I'll keep you updated).

How do you feel about self disclosure of a disordered eating history? I am really hesitant to talk to people about it; partly because I think it's none of their business and I'm a private person and partly because I am embarrassed.

Barefaced and Beautiful

Yesterday kicked off National Eating Disorder Awareness week.

Today's theme is "Barefaced and Beautiful".

Did you go without makeup today? How did it make you feel? If you didn't, why not?

I went without makeup today. Makeup actually isn't that big of a thing for me; I leave the house all the time without it. It is a little weirder at work. I think I associate looking put together (including made up) with professionalism. I did find myself making sure my eyebrows were well-groomed and my hair looked nice. It's interesting how caught up we can be in physical appearance and not even realize it. I would love to be more carefree about my appearance and I think this was a good challenge to make me stop and think.