Monday, March 26, 2012

Self-care or Self-Sabotage?

(profanity alert)


Shit.

My trainer called me this morning.

Trainer: "I just wanted to check on how your nutrition is going."

(internal panic)

Me: "Oh, fine, much better. Doing great!"

Trainer: "Okay. Just let me know if you have questions. Your workouts are great but your nutrition is really important as well."

Me: "Oh yeah, absolutely. I am doing fine!"

LIES.

I don't think he believed me either.

At first, I was really angry. I already disclosed my history (although in general) to him and thought he would back off. Then, I thought about it and realized he was right. My eating sucks lately. I ate large bowls of ice cream twice a day all weekend. I know I did it primarily because I was feeling physically unwell and emotionally fragile (comfort eating!). My eating has not been healthy and has not been intuitive. I need to go back and read this post on feeling deprived by Christie Inge. It's like, as soon as I start trying to clean up my eating, I feel resentful and rebel, damn the consequences. We all know how well that cycle works.

I have some thinking to do.

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