Grief and Loss.

Medicinal Marzipan has a powerful post up about grieving the loss of your "body fantasy". You know, that person you wanted to be, thought you would be, still hope to be. But aren't.

I wanted to be:

taller
thinner
have longer, faery-like hair
have a different color hair
be tanner
have a flatter stomach
have larger breasts
be more outgoing

Ugh.

My thoughts now:

I am still my same height. I am pretty okay with that at this point in my life.
Thinner, well, I know that probably isn't going to happen without destructive or obsessive behavior.
Oh my goodness, really? It's hair!
Still hair. Plus, there is this magical thing called hair dye.
I have learned to embrace my paleness.
Yeah, not happening, especially after a child. I am trying to my more loving of my soft belly.
Unless I'm paying for them, they're staying just as they are. Most days I am fine with this.
I am actually working on this one. Shyness and social anxiety are things I can change to a degree but I do appreciate and pay attention to my need for quiet, alone time as well.

Basically, I am an average-height, softly formed, Irish-skinned woman with light brown hair who is fairly introspective.

And that is okay.

In fact, it's beautiful.

There, I said it. :-)