Journal Entry: Sweets Challenge Day 3

9:30am
Arrive at work. Have my premade overnight oatmeal ready to go and my requisite cup of tea. Ahhh. I eat about 3/4 of the oatmeal and am fully, will enjoy my tea throughout the morning.

11:00am
Hungry again, decide to finish oatmeal!

12:15pm
Hungry for lunch. Have some more leftover pasta from earlier in the week.

12:35pm
Having strong sweets cravings. As an experiment, I have one piece of chocolate to see if that satisfies me. (Normally, one is not enough and the cravings become worse). Also open my diet soda for the day for a little pick-me-up.

12:37pm
Rats. One piece is definitely not enough. Going to try some distraction because I am really not hungry at the moment.

I would just like to point out that I have noticed at least 3 candy jars between me and the bathroom. Not that I was counting.

2:15pm
Getting hungry, know I will be heading to the gym soon. Rats, I just remembered I ate a granola bar recently, don't remember when. Please note that my dear 7 month old got up about every 2-3 hours all night last night. I think fatigue is definitely making my sugar cravings and hunger in general much worse. I have caved and gotten 2 more pieces of chocolate in the hopes of a littl energy boost/increased gym motivation.

2:40pm
Decide I am just too tired to make it to the gym so I decide on a walk outside since the weather is nice. I think this was a good effort in what I like to call "intuitive exercising". It appears I made the right choice because I returned feeling invigorated and refreshed.

4:00pm
Back from my walk and very hungry. Wanting something carby as usual for an afternoon snack. Because I'm an idiot, I don't have any of these snacks available to myself.* Off to the vending machines I go. I initially decide on a cinnamon danish thing but then notice the premade sandwiches. These scare me a little but I've never heard any incidents at work so decide on a chicken salad sandwich. I feel totally satisfied after I eat it!

*As I have mentioned before, I tend towards restriction. I am starting to think this whole "sweets challenge" was really a masked attempt at restriction/diet behavior. I keep my snacks at work to a minimum, almost in an attempt not to eat too much, and then end up hungry. It's a weird cycle. The struggle is still my huge fear of weight gain/lack of weight loss and how to make peace with food, body image, and probably irrational fear.