Saturday, January 7, 2012

Journal Entry: Sweets Challenge Day 3

Arrive at work. Have my premade overnight oatmeal ready to go and my requisite cup of tea. Ahhh. I eat about 3/4 of the oatmeal and am fully, will enjoy my tea throughout the morning.

Hungry again, decide to finish oatmeal!

Hungry for lunch. Have some more leftover pasta from earlier in the week.

Having strong sweets cravings. As an experiment, I have one piece of chocolate to see if that satisfies me. (Normally, one is not enough and the cravings become worse). Also open my diet soda for the day for a little pick-me-up.

Rats. One piece is definitely not enough. Going to try some distraction because I am really not hungry at the moment.

I would just like to point out that I have noticed at least 3 candy jars between me and the bathroom. Not that I was counting.

Getting hungry, know I will be heading to the gym soon. Rats, I just remembered I ate a granola bar recently, don't remember when. Please note that my dear 7 month old got up about every 2-3 hours all night last night. I think fatigue is definitely making my sugar cravings and hunger in general much worse. I have caved and gotten 2 more pieces of chocolate in the hopes of a littl energy boost/increased gym motivation.

Decide I am just too tired to make it to the gym so I decide on a walk outside since the weather is nice. I think this was a good effort in what I like to call "intuitive exercising". It appears I made the right choice because I returned feeling invigorated and refreshed.

Back from my walk and very hungry. Wanting something carby as usual for an afternoon snack. Because I'm an idiot, I don't have any of these snacks available to myself.* Off to the vending machines I go. I initially decide on a cinnamon danish thing but then notice the premade sandwiches. These scare me a little but I've never heard any incidents at work so decide on a chicken salad sandwich. I feel totally satisfied after I eat it!

*As I have mentioned before, I tend towards restriction. I am starting to think this whole "sweets challenge" was really a masked attempt at restriction/diet behavior. I keep my snacks at work to a minimum, almost in an attempt not to eat too much, and then end up hungry. It's a weird cycle. The struggle is still my huge fear of weight gain/lack of weight loss and how to make peace with food, body image, and probably irrational fear.

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