Thursday, January 5, 2012

Journal Entry: Sweets Challenge Day 2

Night before
I have no idea what I want for breakfast. Nothing is striking my fancy and I am feeling too lazy to make my overnight oatmeal. I'll decide in the morning.

Getting ready to leave. Still no thoughts on breakfast. Grab a packet of plain instant oatmeal and a banana.

Arrive at work. Breakfast time! Make a cup of tea. Decide on the oatmeal with a sprinkle of sugar (it's plain oatmeal, remember?) and throw in a few peanuts for protein.
Bleh. I forget how nasty instant oatmeal like this is. I eat it all but am not satisfied. I grab my daily granola bar and eat about 2/3 of it and then feel satisfied.

Feeling a tad hungry, finish my granola bar.

Took brisk outdoor walk! Brrr!

Lunchtime! I am discovering that being more descriptive about my food makes it more interesting and appealing. For example, "a turkey sandwich" sounds blah and reminds me of diet food. A "smoked turkey sandwich on thick honey wheat with a touch of Miracle Whip" sounds much more appetizing. I enjoyed my sandwich along with a Pink Lady apple. My caffeine need started to kick in so off I went to my diet soda!

Feeling extra hungry today for some reason. May be the additional activity. I also think I still need to work on making heartier lunches. These moments are tough because I don't want any of my snacks left for the day and would tend to veer towards candy.

After hemming and hawing for quite a while, I have the overwhelming desire for a salad. Random, I know. The closest place near work is Wendy's so I hopped in my car and grabbed one of their half-size salads, perfect!

Emotional family conversation. My immediate thought was that I wanted a snack, especially candy. Trying to be aware of the emotions and my reaction. Will try and sit with them as long as I can. Back to reading my book and getting some work done.

Realize I am actually hungry again. Decide to grab a bag of chips from the vending machine, as I am wanting something carby but only have fruit, trail mix, or cheese left! Again, a reminder to pack less meager lunches.

Unfortunately, emotions won out today. I ended up getting a few pieces of chocolate available in our community stash. I feel like I would have continued to eat other snacks had I not chosen to do this and decided that enough time had passed that I hadn't immediately reacted. I still feel like this was a bit of a failure in my sweets challenge but I hope to pick myself back up and continue forward.
On a side note, chips are not a filling snack! May munch on some trail mix until the end of the day.

Dinner. Chicken thighs with BBQ sauce and mashed potatoes. Not terribly exciting but I ate it.

Throughout the evening I have been wanting something sweet but was so busy the opportunity never arose. I also ended up with terrible reflux from dinner so it was Tums for dessert.

The afternoon emotions really wore me out. I think it would have been so easy to grab some candy or sweets and numb out my anxiety and upset but I sat with my feelings and let them ride. I also think it was crucial for me to recognize what was happening instead of mindlessly reacting. Emotions can be really uncomfortable but it can be important to feel them and give them your attention. I did end up "giving in" and felt pretty guilty about it but I was able to acknowledge what I was doing and not go overboard. Day 3, here we come!

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